Understanding

The word understanding is such a huge word for me. Yes, I am not a very understanding person. I am so sensitive that even when he talks to his friends, I get so worked out. I never realize when's the right time to joke and when it's not. I often fail at being understanding, or rather, I don't know how to? That's why it's becoming a huge problem. Only till now, I thought that everything was caused by me! Why were you not hungry? Obviously when someone leaves, you will not feel very happy, thus you dont have much appetite. How dumb was I to even get angry about it? Fuck me! And shouting like a fucking hooligan when you were only talking to your ex classmate! How calm was I? I freaking turn into an insane gorilla! I hate myself for doing such impulsive stuff and now regretting it so so much. I'm sorry, so so sorry that you have to go through so much shit from me. Baby, I don't know why I've become like that. Maybe you'll say I'm over protective or maybe over reacting! Insensitive towards you or maybe just plainly insane. Please tolerate my (NOT-ET-MOMENT)s and remind me to keep my cool. I'm sorry baby I miss you like crazy Cus you slept way before me. My poor boy:( I love you honey.. Hope you'll see this tmr morning which I really doubt you will. I love you!