Living in state of fear

I haven't felt like this before. Living in fear, mom's losing trust in me. I'm such a letdown. Hanging in between. I don't wanna lose him and I don't wanna lose my family's trust. I love them all. I don't know what to do, like really. I feel lost whenever I'm not with you. I feel miserable but I won't show. How can I help myself? How can this go on without being in fear. I need to seek help. This sucks and I really hope you will hold me tight and get through this with me baby. Lastly, you are the only man that I fall so deeply into. I love you.