Understanding

The word understanding is such a huge word for me. Yes, I am not a very understanding person. I am so sensitive that even when he talks to his friends, I get so worked out. I never realize when's the right time to joke and when it's not. I often fail at being understanding, or rather, I don't know how to? That's why it's becoming a huge problem. Only till now, I thought that everything was caused by me! Why were you not hungry? Obviously when someone leaves, you will not feel very happy, thus you dont have much appetite. How dumb was I to even get angry about it? Fuck me! And shouting like a fucking hooligan when you were only talking to your ex classmate! How calm was I? I freaking turn into an insane gorilla! I hate myself for doing such impulsive stuff and now regretting it so so much. I'm sorry, so so sorry that you have to go through so much shit from me. Baby, I don't know why I've become like that. Maybe you'll say I'm over protective or maybe over reacting! Insensitive towards you or maybe just plainly insane. Please tolerate my (NOT-ET-MOMENT)s and remind me to keep my cool. I'm sorry baby I miss you like crazy Cus you slept way before me. My poor boy:( I love you honey.. Hope you'll see this tmr morning which I really doubt you will. I love you!

3

Tmr will be our 3rd month, see how time pass so fast? I never lived a day without love since you entered my live. Never had I have a guy that loves me so much. Never fails to bring me home safely every single day. Never fail to make me laugh, never fail to pamper me. We might go through some rough times but no matter how angry you are, you will still calm yourself down and comfort me. I love you so much honey, so so so much. I hope my parents know how much youve done for me, and know how amazing you are. I love you, and stay tune for more updates about you

I love silly

The first

Thought I had lotsa love from you through our 2nd monthsary. It hurts alot without your voice before I sleep. I know I made a huge hoo-ha about you saying that I sound like your mom, telling you to switch off the comp. But I was just telling you. I don't know why I was angry about that. Sorry for being over sensitive. The worst thing is, I realize I can't fall asleep without you saying good night and kiss me good night thru phone at night. I know I'm ridiculous, but I really miss you. I don't think I can sleep tonight though you are soundly asleep. I still love you no matter what.

Never felt happier

Just by looking at this picture, i can already fall deeper for you.
A day to remember, with my special boy.

I found you.

I used to not believe in love, when i thought that every single guy out there are the same. Mainly looking for whatever they are looking for. The first boy kinda screwed my life though i didn't care much about him. Then came another who really broke my heart into pieces. Never fail to make me feel that i can love a boy unconditionally anymore with no strings attached therefore eliminating any chance of being hurt again.

And then i found you.

At first, you teased me about all the boys i spoke to at the same time. We began chatting frequently until ungodly hours, continue teasing each other's crush and started became really close. Until then, i realised that you weren't like another and i fell. I fell for your awesome personality, just one awesome boy.

Yes, i did consider about what we are going through now, all the racism, all the criticism, all the restrictions. That was why i thought that we ain't possible.

When I found you it all changed.

Although we have lots of hurdles to pass, I know we are going to hold our hands tight together and run through it even though its going to be very difficult to. I know i've been saying this for god knows how many times, but i need to say this once again, I'm so blessed to have you in my life, protecting me, pampering me, caring for me, loving me.

baby, i know this is cheesy but you know, no matter how much i write on this platform, it can never show how much i love you. Cus words, numbers, letters ain't enough to show how much i love you.

I love you baby. <3

We all know.

I assume we felt like the picture below when nothing was told yet
and weren't you glad that i made the first move? I am proud of myself, cus if i didn't mention, .....
I won't know how amazing you are, and i wont fall so so deeply in love with my silliest boy.
I love you dear, and your harry potter book and lord of the rings wrinkle.. HEHE

I think

I'm feeling how you feel when i'm out of your sight, at a foreign country, miles away from you.

Now, we're on the same land but I don't know why I'm missing you so much like I haven't seen your for years. Seeing your photos makes me miss you even more. It's gonna be merely 12 hours more before we're meeting, but I already can't wait, even for a second. Your hugs and kisses I've been yearning for. I don't know If this feeling sucks or it's good that I'm feeling like that. I wish I never leave you, even for a second, even for a toilet break. I can't wait to see you, I miss you baby.

You

We started being awesome buddies.

I thought it wasn't love.

You never knew I love you so then.

Look what you've done, you became the awesomest thing that have happened in my life.

I love you.

Sorry

For not updating tue rest of Hk trip. But it was kinda a turn off. So I shouldn't mention it. :) peace out!

Hong kong 08

17/12/2010

1st month baby, you thought I would forget?
Hehe yes it's 12am now. I miss you so much. I'm sorry I can't be with you today on our very 1st. Hehe! You never call me at 12am, how could you!!!!!! Ahhhhh, you Make me cry lo.. So sad... So you forgot. Ahhhhhh!!! Idiot!!!! Ahhhhh, angry!!!!

Hong kong 07

Day 07

One more week to return! I can't wait! Work up late this morning, only had 30 mins to get ready before meeting.

Bathe super ultra quickly and off we went. To the hong kong university. While the lecturer was talking I literally kept nodding away.. Hahah! And I was at his clear view, at the outer row.. Ahahha so malu.. Plus you called me when he just started his speech.. My ringtone was damn loud lo.. Haha!

So anyway, we went to the uni for only awhile. Walked out of the place and a strong gust of wind swept by. Was shivering and calling you. Ahaha!

Went back to the IVE and had lunch. And they introduced the school facilities.. Hahah! Not on the 1st day but on the last official day at IVE. thou we're going back tmr again for nonsense.. Haha!

And yes, I am typing this while nodding away again.. So tired but I'm waiting for smth.. Hehe. I miss you loads

Hong kong 06

Day 06

Normal school day, went to school feeling like zombie.. Type hell loads of codes, worked smart with thumb drive also. Thought of you the whole time, and also fall asleep when teacher was teaching.

After school, we went for dinner, without the girls. Was accompanied by the other grp of ite students who gave us priority of choosing food. Settled down at a quite pricy cafe near our hotel. Ate porka curry rice. And smoked duck from street stall, so FAT! Eeeeeeewwww..... And ya, headed to newtown shopping mall and walk ard. I got nothing but Alfred got his khaki pants.

Although I wanna come back to Singapore ASAP. I wanna stay here Cus of the weather. I really don't like melting in Singapore~ Singapore should have this weather and everything would be so awesome!


Now I really need a tight tight hug and warmest kiss.. I feel so so empty without you. I don't wanna leave you again:(

Hong Kong 05

Woke up, go to school, came back. Go for dinner. And dinner time is always a disaster. Sorry but I can't help it but to say, when people is spending so much time on you, to find food for you, be grateful!

This sucks Cus I don't want people to fall out with each other Cus we really need each other's help Cus we're not home. I know typing here is no use but, I just need to spill it out. And this seems like my only platform to.

Baby, don't worry about me. Although I really miss you alot. I really need you here. If you were here, everything would be so much better. I want to call you now, but i know you're asleep. So I will sleep now, and I love you baby!

Time check: 2.59am
Just finish laundry and now, I will sleep.

Feelings

For your infro, I have freaking feelings. You ask me to do things for you, I do, willingly. I don't treat anyone else better than I treat you. You can cry, I can too. You are sad, am I not? When your unhappy, I am there. I may seem that I don't care what you do to me. But deep inside, I am hurt. I think to you, I'm explainable with one word, useful. Thanks girl. I'm not gonna blame you. I'm gonna suck it up. Thanks:)

Hong kong day 04

Started school, learned java, and it sucks big time! Slept 3am the night before and whenever the teacher starts lecture, I fall asleep..

After school, we went to hunt for halal food again. Walked around for 1hr 30 mins but can't find any of em' at our area. So we settled down at kfc, food sucks.

Totally exhausted today. Luckily I can chat with you on msn, if not I'll die. I miss you so much. I wanna fly back now. Hug you, kiss you and sleep in your arms. :(


I'm sorry post today is so short, we didn't do much today. And it sucks.

Hong Kong 03

Day 03

Slept super well last night, woke up early, when it was redundant, with Teddy in my arms. Laze and snooze abit then washed up, went for breakfast after which. ( Nisa just hump me when I'm typing this)

Had noodles with brisket beef noodle, egg and ham at this cafe, there was this cute aunty that helped us with the ordering, I think I was speaking Cantonese but I don't know what I was blabbering about. The thing is, she understood me! Hehe! Oh yeah, I manage to gain my courage to ask a macik here where to get halal food, and she was so so nice she brought us back to the market to get food for athira and Nisa.

So after eating, we shopped at sports market, look for cheap clothes and splurge like nobody's business and now I'm left with less than 2k? Damn! Wish you were here to stop me from splurging..

Came back to hotel on time to go to the peak. And the ride there was horrible, motion sickness makes me feel like shit. So, anyway moving on, we were so excited to be at the peak! When we reached there, the place wasn't as cold as expected at 1st. So, we went for some window shopping at the mall. Didn't get anything cus it was over priced there.

Managed to experience breathing out vapor at the peak, although we look like insane kids but it was fun! Had starbucks here as well cus it's cheaper, so much cheaper..

I wanna say smth, fuck you fuck you Ronald. The security of YWCA!!! Stop looking at me like that!!! Argh!!!

I miss you baby. I really do, really feel like crying. I kis

Hong Kong Day 02

Day 02
Woke up at 6.15am
Thinking that we were late. Jump out of bed and got ready for the day. Bathe in freezing cold weather. Teeth chattering, bone shaking, body shivering, could be better of you were here:)

Went down paid money for sim card, and had free time all the way till 11pm. We shopped and ate throughout the whole day. Wanted to get smth for you but all of em' were either for old people or kids. I don't know how I could spend a 1000HK. -.- and haven't had my smelly toufu!

We went to Tsin Sha Tsui cus we had to pay an extra ticket to change to Sham Sui Po. Sham Sui Po was filled with electronic appliances, there was the Monster, beat. Headset copy selling at a very extreme low price. Was hesitating to buy it but decided to give it a pass. Hunted for halal food for Nisa and athira was a huge challenge, with her beautiful pout on her face made everything worst. It's really getting on my nerves, Argh! God, please forgive me for being such a hypocrite, if I weren't a hypocrite, everything would be much worst than this. Alfred and Aaron decided to send the girls back and then come out to shop more.

So, we came back to rest a bit and then headed out to Nu Ren Jie ( Woman's Street ) fabulous fashion hunt! Had heavenly loads of fun when bargaining, playing hard to get. I think those aunties was cursing at me and wanted kill me and stab me alive.

Food is terribly difficult to find especially when it comes to 10pm odd. Had Maggie noodles 2 days straight for dinner. :( plus it was terribly salty.

Going to the peak tmr! So, tata! I miss you so much, I love you!

Hong Kong Day 01

As I promised, in that little paper, I need to update my blog about the trip.

So I know, leave each other was miserable, so I promise to not leave you anymore. 10 more days, need to strive. And I'm definitely having a good time now, but obviously, it would be better if you were here. Millions of hugs and kisses.

So, the day we parted, hurts like shit huh? I really tried my best to hold back, but just couldn't. And luckily we have awesome friends! Cutest sweetest thing ever!

Boarded plane, Aaron swop with someone else so we were sitting tgt and sharing stories while listening to a whole list Paramore, Katy perry, yadayada songs for 3 hrs. Had chicken rice on the shaky plane. I literally freaked out when there was turbulence.

When we landed, I was yearning to call you for your voice. Only till we boarded the coach then they issue out those sim card. So, I rang you thinking that I could hear your voice, not knowing that you were asleep. Kept calling but no answer and that killed me abit.

Checked into the hotel and still trying to reach you. Worried and frustrated, till i gain courage to call your dad, and knew that you were asleep then I felt relieved. I miss you dearly. I wish I could fly back now. :(

Carry on, we went out at 12am to hunt for food. Alfred almost went berserk when we couldn't find food. But we manage to settle down at Macdolnalds and the horribly salty plus the place was filth as well. Met ashraf and roro's replica.

Went back to hotel after that and rest for the day while missing your hugs and kisses.

Living in state of fear

I haven't felt like this before. Living in fear, mom's losing trust in me. I'm such a letdown. Hanging in between. I don't wanna lose him and I don't wanna lose my family's trust. I love them all. I don't know what to do, like really. I feel lost whenever I'm not with you. I feel miserable but I won't show. How can I help myself? How can this go on without being in fear. I need to seek help. This sucks and I really hope you will hold me tight and get through this with me baby. Lastly, you are the only man that I fall so deeply into. I love you.

Worst thing in my life just struck

Yes, I just broke the news to my parents. They are reacting like I have a hooligan boyfriend. They wouldn't want to hear me out and tell them how wonderful my love is. He is like no other. He might not be the race they want him to be, but that's what he is and can't they just accept that I love him? I knew this would happen, I felt it coming. But never thought that it would be just a huge hoo haa! Yes, I said that he was my best friend, my good buddy, but then again, things change, feelings changed. I love you all, I respect all of you, that's why I'm breaking the news so soon. Cus I love my lover and I love my family, and this is all the reason why I had to hold back my feelings then. Dad's pissing off, throwing stuffs at me? Yelling that he doesn't wanna hear me? Thanks alot. Mom's talking about disowning? Because of affan being a Malay? Wow.

I have an interesting family. Sucks to be me.